"Happy Birthday Mark!"

I hear the announcer's voice bounce off the platform as the train I am riding on closes its doors.

London is an amazing city.

There are times when you feel that amidst the hustle and bustle, where throngs of shoppers skirt in and out of side shops, suits-and-tie executives rush to and fro appointments, people and traffic zip past you so fast that all you are aware of is the draft, the city can indeed leave you feeling cold and lonely.

And there are times when you find love; even more rarely in tube stations.

Old couples holding hands, helping each other up and down the endless staircases.

Love of life, with the use of Humour being one of the key evidence. Once I was at Canary Wharf tube waiting for my usual ride home, and instead of normal boring message of train arrivals, I heard the announcer on the other side saying: " Robbie Williams is WAITING for you at North Greenwich. If you are off to see Robbie Williams, please take the next train and drop off at the O2!!"

And then there was another time when I was just arriving at one station where there was an announcement in a relatively calm voice: "Ladies and Gentlemen, look at that guy on Platform 1. His name is Will and he has been serving this platform for the last 20 years." And then the voiceover went into a crescendo, "And it is his LAST day today. Will you all give him a ROUND of APPLAUSE for all the GREAT work he has done!"

And finally, hearing today's annoucement about a certain Mark's birthday, brought a smile to my face and inspired me to write this piece. Where do you normally find love?

;)

In this day and age, the speed of internet has placed a tag on how important you think you are, based on these factors, digital or not:

1. How fast someone replies to your emails: How difficult can it be? An email is like a conversation nowadays, clicking reply is just a button away. So if you sent an email and got a reply (if you do get one that is) two weeks later, you know you are not that important.

2. The length of replies: I sometimes type long emails to clients asking for further clarification. You would think you would get something of the same length back, or at least some details showing there is some interest in what you say by receiving a few sentences to each paragraph you wrote. But when you get a "Yes, ok" answer to ten questions you asked in an email, you know you are not that important.

3. Facebook messages: Same as the context of emails, photo tagging and commenting on other people's photos; I show my interest by writing or delaying a response for as long as possible.

4. What I label as The Commons: such as Names (I only remember names when you are important. Guilty as charged.) And Birthdays (same as Names category, thank you very much!)

5. As a friend once says: "Telling you about a fantastic place you definitely must go, doesn't necessarily mean I am inviting you to come along with me." You know how important you are when you are invited to go along on a holiday.

Last and final bit, if you forward this article on to ten of your friends including myself, or drop lots of comments, I would know that what I said is important to you. But if you don't give a whoot...

Thank you very much!

I arrived in Brisbane at about 6.30am last Wednesday morning, and was welcomed by the cool winter breeze. It was not as cold as I had prepared myself to be. I booked a transfer to my hotel, with the friendly staff at Coach Transfer at the airport and decided to chuck my winter coat away altogether. The surrounding greenery, sun and cool weather made me feel relaxed almost instantly.

Arriving at the Hotel Grand Chancellor, I was told that it was too early so I cannot check in until the normal time which is 2pm. I could only therefore leave my bags there at the hotel and the receptionist pointed me to a free loop service I could take called Spring Hill Loop which would lead right into the city centre where there are shops to look at. I decided to walk however and was glad to do so because the sun was out.

I bought a SIM card from 7-11 along the shopping street called Queen Street and that was the start of a nightmare. The SIM card cost me only AUD$2 and I bought an additional top-up value of $15. I dialled the number to get that value, but was told by the customer service, who probably lived on the other side of Asia, that there were only 3 packages to choose from, and they all began from AUD$30!!

Dialogue:
Me: What do you mean that I can't use this $15 to top-up?
Woman with thick Indian accent: Mdm, what I mean that you can use the $15 but you must first choose from one of the $30 packages. So do you want - call and receive, call and some sms, sms power blah blah blah....
Me: I'm sorry it seems ridiculous that you sell someone a top up value and call it pay as you go, and then tell them they have to pay additional $30 to access it!

(15mins later...)
Woman: Maybe you can go to our Optus shop to ask? Can I register you first?
Me: What? I have to be registered?!?!
Woman: yes Mdm you have to register to START using your credit, can I ask you for your address please?
Me: sigh... (What a LONG morning) which do you want?!! My London, Brisbane, Melbourne or Sydney one? Listen I am only here for 9 days and I don't see why I will have to provide you details of all these places I am going to.
Woman: just your location of hotel here would be good Mdm.

20mins later...
I walked into Optus shop and complained my butt off like an old English grandmother. And was finally told that they trained their call centre staff to only offer those 3 standard packages. Girl at counter apologised and helped me top up $15 and on account of that I forgave that Woman. Gosh!

Hotel called that I could check in early so happily, I then took the loop service back. Upon being given a room, I settled down to doing some work on my laptop, and moments later, a staff whom I think was Phillipino, came barging in to say that she needed to check my mini-bar!!!

I was shocked beyond words and never felt so vulnerable in my life. My office documents were everywhere and were mostly confidential stuff, and so was my money for the trip. I shouted at her as she was fiddling at my door, that I was still in the room, but without knocking she just used her keys, opened my door and marched right in! What a shocker!!!

She then said: "You are missing two chocolate bars Mdm, did you eat anything?"

I was boiling mad but could only look at her from across my laptop, "No, I just checked in," I seethed. What an idiot!!

Thoughts about thanking God I was not in my underwear when this happened, were ringing over and over in my head. I mean... What could be worse?

The lady muttered: "O sorry (without actually meaning it), I will replace them later." And marched straight out.

I scrambled to my bed where the Do Not Disturb sign was placed, ran to the door, and left it outside on the doorknob. And also locked the door. Thinking that this would finally redeem me some peace and quiet for the rest of the day, I settled in on the chair and went back to my work.

I could only manage to calm myself down enough to decide that I would take a shower soon after, but not without finishing off a last email.

Again, just moments later... There was a serious knock on the door, and fiddling of the doorknob, with the dreadfully familiar voice calling out: "Mdm, I brought you the chocolate bars..."

I shouted off the top of my lungs: "I am in the shower could you please leave me alone??!!"

"Chocolate bars mdm! Your mini-bar!"

"I am not dressed! I am in the shower!!!" I lied desperately.

"Your mini-bar Mdm..."

"I am IN THE SHOWER!!!!"

"O sorry you meant you are bathing! Sorry..." and just as suddenly as she had come, she left my door with half her apology lingering in the doorway.

I was in the state of complete shock, tired from lack of sleep the night before, and also worn down by an early morning arguement with the phone Woman.

I could only say, that the early bird opened a can of bad worms that day. I hope that I have gotten the worse parts of my trip sorted out, but am afraid to speak too soon. ;) What kind of a hotel was that??!!?!?

Brighton - Life in A Day


Ever been to Brighton??


If you are ever tired of London life in Summer, a good day trip would be Brighton which is a short one hour train ride away from Victoria station.





Historically a fishing village and health resort, Brighton's long stretch of pebble beach and world famous pier is now a popular destination for surfing and sun lovers.

Kee bought tickets from Southern Railway two weeks ago, and we got a really good deal. A normal return ticket would cost about 18 to 20 pounds. Ours was a great deal of only 4.25 each way. You can save about 15% off tickets when you book early, or there is a special deal for group travel. Our ticket saved us lots of money, but... it also meant we had to travel at off-peak times, starting off at 8am in the morning, and going home at 8pm at night.

Best way to tour the place is on foot. Shops open from 10am - 6pm on a Saturday.

Our route was simple, stick to places where the shops are, depicted on a map we could get from the Information counter once you arrive at Brighton station. And head across the city towards the  beach.


Starting from Queen street, and then a leisurely walk through Kensington Garden street makes up the district called The North Laines.











We were a little early, but still a great start to see what's good later on to come back for a second look.






I wonder why there is a turnstile here, just to enter the shop. But this adds on to the overall quirkiness to the place, which I absolutely love!



We were not the earliest waiting for shops to open I guess...













Shoes so good you can eat them.









Early in the morning at 9.45am, there was already a queue to the Brighton Library. I am not so sure why the Architect was not impressed.
I was.


















Before getting through Gardner Road to The Lanes, make sure you walk left down to the corn exchange, and then follow a road leading to the Royal Pavilions.











The full view from the front is absolutely WORTH IT!!!!

The architect who did this was John Nash. I don't really know who he is, but to conceive the thought of onions and complex weaving hanging from balconies at that point in time must be quite an achievement.

























Walking through the narrow Lanes, reminds me of navigating along the streets of Venice with charming shops selling glassware, jewelery and quirky art along both sides of the footpath.




We decided to stop for tea at this place called Naked Cafe. Please ignore silly chinese man and woman in the following pictures.

Today, the train was packed!! Like any normal day, we hear the reasons why. There are repeated broadcast everywhere - lines are suspended, problems with tracks, severe delays, and so on. Well, this is part of living everyday you say. Knowing there was nothing much I could do, I decided to take this opportunity to blog.

We watched an episode of BBC documentary last night, called Life - Creatures of the Deep. And it was absolutely brilliant! I didn't know there were just so many ways to live a life down under, and it sure mimics our lives up here.

Coral reefs bursting with starfishes of all sorts of colours crawling on their surfaces, 3metre long sea worms zipping through like highways, crabs with wierd family names like Boxer and Gorilla, jellyfish bobbin', cuttlefish matin', stingrays hovering over a buffet spread of fresh soft-shelled crabs, and a bunch of prawns tasked to clean bacteria and pesticides from giant fish passing by, seeming so much like workers at a car-wash.

More importantly, I was touched by how these creatures treated death. There was no mourning, only celebration. As one creature dies, thousands FEAST. It was really just a simple cycle which your body would be eventually consumed and returned to Earth. In the process, even an empty shell feeds plenty, and provides a healthy meal to all that is floating in the ocean.

Watching these creatures in the comfort of our rooms, on our laptop, we were in awe as we found out how the production of an hour long clip was made.

To ensure the integrity of content was kept to the highest standard, the team of BBC producers found an actual ship, sank it, and filmed how barnacles and reef would grow over TWO years! It was an opportunity to conduct an experiment, study coral reef formation, and the abundance of life a broken old ship could sustain.

They swam in oceans within a region that plunges to a minus 70 deg celcius. And that makes me admire the courage of men, and our innate hunger to explore our world even more!! Because of this hunger, we push our limits, and we go the distance. I certainly wouldn't go near a place so dark, so full of the unknown, no oxygen, and at the same time, remembering to capture all the details on film, not even if I was offered a pot of gold!

I absolutely applaud the team for bringing the natural world in front of our eyes. We could appreciate Life once again. Next station - Canary Wharf, and life on top of the ocean begins for me again.

I am trying to blog for the very first time on a blackberry. Feels truly great to be so connected and I find it strange why I've never thought about this before.

I emptied my pockets yesterday when I arrived in my office - receipts, bus tickets, shopping lists dating three weeks ago. For the first time in my life since arriving in London, my pockets felt bare to my hands when I stuffed them into my jacket at the end of the day.

There was always something in my pockets. Most likely, I would have notes, pens, keys, coins, namecard holder, other people's namecards, tube pass, mobile phone, tube map, withdrawal notes from a cash machine and an alligator all at the same time. (No, I'm joking, not the alligator.)

I can't believe I got so used to feeling comforted with MESS. Now as I reach into emptiness, it feels strangely - EMPTY. At the same time, I could finally stretch my fingers, and know how the soft fabric of the underside of my pockets feel! And that felt GOOD! Let's see how long it will take for me to commit to this new cleanliness habit!

Spring is fast approaching!

A hard-earned Christmas Present

I was having breakfast with Mr Kee yesterday morning, the two of us very down with a persistent cough. Sipping our coffees, we were drawn by the wonderful display of frost in the air, and a family of squirrels chasing one another on the bare trees. We thought back about the last year and some of its most memorable moments.


A year ago this time I was still working at Muji. It was soon Christmas eve, and I was still working my butt off so that I can earn double pay on a holiday shift.

A year later, I was sitting there, at a small corner french cafe, having breakfast.

A year and two jobs later, I finally landed myself on a role which I feel would be most challenging and rewarding for me.


Minus the coughing, everything was a huge step. It seemed all too surreal. It was a strange land, a remote city. One that I would not have wasted a single second thinking of moving to. But yet, here I am, loving every moment.

Lessons I learnt last year.
Self - Worth, and daring to ask for it.


Am I worth this price I am asking for?
Is this really something I can do?
Is this something I would enjoy doing?
But I already have something that I like doing, was it worth the risk?

I wrote on my facebook, whilst remembering POV trainer Jeff Allen's words. The best defense is when you are standing in a plain field, in full view of the enemy.

Exposed, defenseless, and yet, at my most powerful.

This is how I feel now.
As I make these decisions, I feel stronger every step, and I know that is all it takes for me to find myself.

I was on the bus 8 today, riding home from town, when I pinched my black stockings, and was surprised to find a flood of dust rising from the fabric upon release from my fingers. There was something poetic about the gentle floating of dust, barely visible, and carried by gusts of air on a bus, swiveling, swirling out of my reach. The only way to catch dust, is when they decide to land on your clothes. It was rather uplifting to watch, even though it was just for a few moments.


Days before, I was on the same route home with Mr Kee. We were apprehensive about the ride, that was headed towards the bus garage, its final stop. I wondered if the lost and found section would still be opened. When we reached, I walked slightly ahead of Mr Kee, as if I have already been there before, strangely aware of my surroundings, whereas he trudged unwittingly behind.

The old man at the counter was helpful. We said we left something there last Friday. An i-pod. His i-pod, in black leather casing. The old man went "Hmmmm, I believe we do have one i-pod. Just let me check" and popped his head into the cupboards.

When he arrived back at the counter with an envelope, our hopes were so high that I felt like I was slightly afloat. Tearing the tape that sealed the enveloped off with shaking hands, and with a quick slide, he revealed a nasty grey looking tape-recorder look-alike, wrapped in leather casing, and asked: "No?"

The disappointment was like a tsunami wave crashing down on us from a height equivalent to the heavens, drowning us through the doors, and out of the office. We then proceeded to walk home to lick our wounds, and gorge ourselves with crisps. You really cannot blame an old man for not knowing what an i-pod looks like, can you?

Even more days before, I had been working so hard trying to look for houses to rent with my friends, and making up hours at work, that I have given in to exhaustion while riding on the bus, listening to his i-pod. I was shocked when the next time I opened my eyes, it was pitched black, and the bus had already made its turn into the garage.

The moment the bus stopped at a parking space in the garage, and the driver got out of his seat to opened the doors, I ran.


That day, I had gone to Borders to do my regular book-editing during lunch time, and was so bored that I picked a book to read. Not wanting to spend any additional money on buying books, I have been reading this one for coming three months already.


Waking up to find that it was almost time to get back to work, I tidied up, put on my coat, and rushed out of Borders. It was only when I was back at the staff office in my workplace, that I noticed that I have walked out with the book in my hand, un-purchased!!

Guilt rushed over me, and I did not have time to feel it. I had to get back to work.

We saw two blokes of the same race (not telling you which), picking up girls in a span of 12 hours.

One while we were in the tube, and the other, when we were on the bus.
"Call me ok?....
Ya, and maybe next time we'll meet here again, who knows?"


Mr Kee came up with something that I just couldn't help laughing:

"That's it. That's how it is....

Try ten and maybe one will talk to you.

Try hundred and maybe one will let you hold her hand.

Try a thousand and maybe one will let you touch her breasts.
And only her breasts.





And you find out that its only because she's fat and ugly.




And then you give up.




Cause you realise you are fat and ugly."


Time to fast track. And go on facebook guys!!!

Cuts the chase by half, and maybe less embarrassing.

After a whirlwind two weeks back in Singapore, to attend a very special wedding, I threw myself immediately back at work. Too immediately in fact. The fatigue from non-stop preparation and meet-ups back home, as well as jet-lag set in, and I almost fainted on my way home from work on the third day back in London.

Today's a lovely Sunday. One of the rare weekend that I was off from work. I am so so happy!

We went to Columbia Flower Market today. As usual, Mr Kee decided to stop-over at our favourite Bricklane for a quick bite. We were looking for a famous bagel shop without knowing exactly where it was, but I guess his radar must be quite strong. Within five minutes of getting off the bus, we found our noses in front of mountains of bagels!

And the queue was irresistible!!! All Singaporeans can recognise a genuine queue. And we know it when we can get satisfy our taste buds at the end of the line. What a looong line!



It curls from the till which is at the front of the shop (near the exit), and goes to where the kitchen is, and out again towards the exit.



SALT BEEF BAGELS..... (Mr Kee shouts: "Like luncheon meat but with the soft texture of beef.... <trembling in excitement>"










I had cream cheese bagel. Lovely... 2 stars for salty bagel... 5 stars for the novelty.
Mr Kee gives his Salty Beef bagel 5 out of 5 stars.

Last Friday, Mr Kee told me some news.

His company was retrenching. And they are not sure how many they were going to let off. We will only know it when Monday comes. Because my visa is tagged to his, if he loses his job, we will be sent packing back home. As if this wasn't the worst thing, our room-mate told us last month that he would be moving back to Singapore, and so the sound of having to afford the rent of a thousand over pounds came crashing into our heads, like a huge bronze bell ringing from ear to ear. 

We lived in fear for the next few days, licking our wounds, and feeling as if every worry was like a cut in our skin, exposed to this cold weather. With the impending financial pressure, the economic crisis looming in, we really weren't sure of our future here in this strange land.

For the last few weeks, I have made many of my friends wonder why I seldom came online. Perhaps Grace Lee is trying to vanish from the world. But really, I knew I was just hiding. Pushed by fear, I dove into endless digging, hunting the internet...

I tried hard to find a job, sending my resumes to every single online job-search website that I could find; walking the streets in the cold, wondering if I could find something to do, someplace to work; looked into pubs and restaurants; sitting hours in the library trying to calm my mind, while finding it hard to focus on the stories that I've read. Days I spent on end, filling up job application forms, again and again and again, with the same answers, my job history, my education and qualifications, and conjuring up cover letters.

I wandered into recruitment agencies, aimlessly, and a lady who shook my hand said: "Wow, your hands are cold."

And the thought that ran in my mind was: "Hell yeah, if you spent the whole morning walking the streets already, and no other agencies want my resume because they are flooded with too many CVs and too little jobs on hand. What do you think?"

I wanted to be rude. But I couldn't. I pulled my hand away, and apologised for being too cold for her heater-baked hands, her face flushed from the warmth of her cubicle.

And when I told her about my problems about finding a job or an agency that could help, she just smiled sympathetically, and told me to mail her my resume, which I knew would be lying dead in her computer amongst the thousands of many other corpses known as "references".

Back home, when I went online, I wanted to tell everyone that things are ok. But they are not.
And if I said they are not ok, then there is a whole barrage of well wishes, suggestions, or simply saying that in Singapore they are not doing good as well.

But I don't really want to listen to pity. I don't want their sympathy. And I don't want to listen to the comparisons. Doesn't mean that Singapore is not doing well too, will make me feel better. Doesn't mean that I don't have to work for now, I can relax. Nothing they said made me feel better and I knew it.

This long weekend, I faced my innermost devils.

They are... Lack of SELF-WORTH, PITY, LOST, and FEAR.

Mr Kee and I tried to joke about it.
"Perhaps we might end up going home for Christmas after all. Haha..." We told our friends.

We tried to analyse and rationalise it.
"It can't be you, you know. You belong to part of the business unit that is making profit." I told him.
"Is it because they think I'm Chinese so I don't speak good english?" I asked myself.

We practised giving Thanks.
"Lucky I did WBG, still had some residual income from there."

We doubted choosing to come here now.
"Back home we have lots of lobang here and there hor?" He said.

We thought about Plan B.
"Worse comes to worse, we can head back and do what we used to do."

But did we really want to?
Did I really want to go back to that life, of endless chasing the wheels? Buy a flat, get married, and settle down? I am not simply talking about a paycheck here. What I am talking about is admitting that I am a victim of circumstances.

Sunday night, we sat down and I looked at him straight into the eyes. What do we really want out of this experience? Do we really want to go back to where we came from? All the frustration, expectation and stress melted into tears as I spoke.

This is really just a trap. We are allowing ourselves to be cheated, to be fooled by our  circumstances. Doesn't mean that his friends who got retrenched back in Singapore, or anyone here over in London for that matter...

"NONE of them, is refering to you." I told him. It doesn't mean that we are any weaker or stronger than them, just different circumstances, different stories. Perhaps I really wanted myself to listen to these words.

I came here to explore all I can about possibilities. A new career, maybe. A new life, maybe. But above all, I know that it is for the better. Deep down, we both knew that turning back was not an option. I don't want to be a sales rep all my life, sitting in doctor's office wondering what it would have been like if I were to just persist on here.

"Any company who hires me, will be finding that they have the best employee they've ever had. I am efficient, highly skilled and trained, self-motivated and passionate. It is their loss for turning me down. And I know that I will have to keep moving forward and the right path will come. The right job will come."

He nodded. "Like Johnny Walker's ad. Just Keep Walking." In the rarity of his words, they truly boiled down to this one statement.

And we set forth to do something I would never have imagined to happen.
I took out my pen, grabbed a Macdonald's serviette on the table, and started writing the months from November 08, to Dec 2009. And wrote the word "JZ and Grace Wishlist" in bold.

There and then, we sat for about a good 30mins, uninterrupted from even our own worries, and just wrote down what we wished, for the best things in life to happen within the next one year.

After we have finished, I folded the piece of paper, and put it into my bag.

Monday came, and Monday went. That was our longest weekend.
22 people were retrenched, but he was not one of them. (Thank God!)
And Obama was elected president, the first black man to achieve this status. Another miracle to celebrate. This moment, when I'm finished penning down my thoughts, I knew had been one of peace, and enjoyment.

I am awaiting another weekend to come.

And yes!!!
After the teary good byes, and the huge party, and the binge-ing farewells, I am finally here with Chubby Hubby...

Saying cheese for the first time after more than 13 hrs of non-stop sitting position on the plane.

And almost two hours queuing at immigrations...




My first proper meal of the day. Jap curry rice. LARGE Bowl...

Rating... 2 out of 5 stars...

zzz..


His was a beef bowl.
To add extra rice....

FOC.

                   
                   They must think Asians are all pigs who eat a lot.

                                               But they are right!!! hahaha






After dinner, it is nice to have a walk, and we escape the sudden drizzle by walking into this indoor shopping centre. where they have outdoor music.

Dance anyone?
Lovely SEXtet!
heh heh...

Jo, no puns on the words pls!!! hahahha





Take picture = FOC!!!

















Mind you, this is the so-called morning "sun".

I am a computer idiot so I don't know how to adjust lighting on the pic, so u can see...

it is really GLOOM-SHROOM!

Somemore still got flies!!!


Mr Kee frantically waving them off before sucking in his tummy.